Music and memories

The moment when you hear a song and all these memories that you would rather not think about come flooding to the front of your mind.

You are transported back to that very first day. Back to where it all began. You swear you can make out every detail of the room from where you were sitting to what his smile looked like when he was looking at you.

You remember the exact moment you knew that you could fall in love with this guy and you find yourself wanting to go back. Wanting to do it all over again so that maybe you could do something different and that love would stay.

You remember every happy memory, every laugh, every hug, every kiss, every word. And you want it back.

But then you come back to reality and you have to remember every broken promise, every tear you shed, every hurtful word, every night you wanted it all to end. And then in the end…every baby appointment he didn’t show up to, every time he proved he didn’t care…everything.

And you wonder why you let yourself miss him. Why you let yourself romanticize the past when it was anything but perfect. You realize that no matter how happy it was in the beginning, you do not want to go back and do it again because he isn’t worth the pain. He isn’t worth anything.